This Calls For Champagne
by LuvzAfunEthing
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! Luke and Lorelai's first REAL date. Please Read and Review.


**Disclaimer**: I own _Gilmore Girls_? Of course not!...If so, Luke would have been shirtless a LONG TIME AGO.

**A/N**: This story is based upon my own speculation on certain events that will happen in Episode Three of _Gilmore Girls_ this season. Thus, this is a one-shot deal. Perhaps, other vignettes will be written in the future. This fic is dedicated to my GG compatriot and partner-in-crime, **gilmoregirl1979**. I suppose I can plan a sneak attack just as good as thee. So, in the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, "Surprise, surprise!" This one is for you, Debbie. Long live L/L first MMS forever!!!!! Also, thanks to **bob (aka AudiRox aka LorelaiGilmoreDanes)**...for making me get the bug to write again. Your compliments mean so much to me.

**A/N 2**: This fanfic contains more **spoilers** than the number of times that Lorelai has uttered the word, "DIRTY" on _Gilmore Girls_. Therefore, if one does not desire to be **spoiled** by **spoilers**, one better not set his/her eyes on this fic. Unless, of course, one wishes to join all my fellow **spoiler** whores over on the dark side (insert evil laughter). Then, read away!

Title: **_This Calls For Champagne_**

GILMORE HOUSE--LORELAI'S BEDROOM--4:00 PM

_Lorelai is sitting on the floor in front of her closet, surrounded by mounds of clothing. A faint cell phone ring is heard._

Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Oh geez. (_She starts pulling clothes from the pile, in an effort to find the buried phone._) Don't hang up....Don't hang up....(_Finally spotting the elusive cell phone._) Yes!....(_answering the phone_) Hello?

Rory: You couldn't find your phone, could you?

Lorelai: (_sighing_) It's not _my _fault it was swallowed by the Almighty Clothes Heap, which has grown large enough to require its own _zip code_!

_The scene switches back and forth from Rory's dorm room to Lorelai's room as the two converse._

Rory: Actually, it _is_ your fault. You created the heap in an effort to find the _perfect_ outfit for your first official date with _Luuuuuuke_.

Lorelai: (_puzzled_) Why do you keep saying his name like that?

Rory: (_feigning ignorance_) Saying it like what?

Lorelai: You know, all sing-songy...

Rory: (_shaking her head_) I have _no _idea what you're talking about.

Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Fine...Whatever...Rory, _what_ am I going to wear?

Rory: (_smiling_) Oh...you mean to impress _Luuuuuke_....

Lorelai: Ha!!! There it is again!

Rory: _(giggling_) Oh, Mom...It's just cute...The whole you dating Luke thing...It's like you two are back in high school...

Lorelai: (_raising her eye brows_) Um, Hun...This time, back in high school, I was a month from _hoisting_ my legs into stirrups and preparing for your head to _crown_.

Rory: (_frowning_) Okay...Bad comparison...It's still cute, though.

Lorelai: (_whining_) I can't believe you totally abandoned me in my hour of need.

Rory: (_sighing_) It's the _first_ week of school...I just got here...I couldn't just drive back home to help you pick out something to wear.

Lorelai: (_pointing_ _her finger_) Hey, last year _I _made a U-turn and came back to Yale when _you_ desperately needed to see _me_.

Rory: _That_ was different.

Lorelai: (_nodding_) You're right...It _was_ different because not only did I high-tail it back to Yale when you missed me, I also raised you singlehandedly for eighteen years before that, changed your dirty diapers, went through _hours_ of excruciating labor, and carried you nine months while you stretched my stomach to the size of Connecticut, ultimately ruining my _favorite_ "Where's the Beef?" T-shirt...

Rory: (_sarcastically, rolling her eyes_) It's such a shame you didn't inherit Grandma's guilting abilities.

Lorelai: (_gasping_) Rory...This is serious...I have _nothing_ to wear, and Luke will be here in _three hours_!

Rory: (_surprised_) Three hours?!?...Why are you getting ready _now_?...You're always late for your dates with other....(_smiling, realizing something_) Ohhhh....I get it....

Lorelai: (_brow furrowed_) Get what?

Rory: (_smiling_) Why you're getting ready so soon...You wanna be early because it's _Luuuuuke_.

Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) You're crazy.

Rory: (_sighing_) And you're so Molly Ringwald in _Sixteen Candles_...well, minus the red hair and the geeky freshman stalker.

Lorelai: _Rory_...I need you to fast forward two decades and help me _now_...

Rory: Okay, okay...Calm down...Please breathe...I doubt a brown paper bag will be an attractive accessory to _anything_ you choose to wear.

Lorelai: (_eyes widening_) Oh God..._Accessories?_...Hadn't even thought about those yet...This is _so_ nerve wracking....Maybe I should cancel before I end up gluing popsicle sticks together in the Psych Ward of the Stars Hollow Clinic.

Rory: How very _Cuckoo's Nest_...except the clinic doesn't have a psych ward...

Lorelai: (_shaking her head_) No...Remember when Kirk was hallucinating about Kevin Spacey riding a unicycle in front of Doose's...He wanted to commit himself, so they turned the janitor's closet at the clinic into the new "psychiatric wing."

Rory: (_remembering_) Oh...riiight...and then they realized that he wasn't crazy, but he'd eaten those poison mushrooms from Miss Patty's lawn.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Good times.

Rory: (_nodding_) Indeed.

Lorelai: Anyway...Back to the crisis at hand...I have no clothes...

Rory: (_rolling her eyes_) You have _plenty_ of clothes.

Lorelai: (_shaking her head_) No...no..._Nothing_ looks right...I try something on...I stand in front of the mirror...and then I do my best impression of Joan Rivers on crack.

Rory: What does _that_ sound like?

Lorelai: Pretty much like regular Joan Rivers, but with occasional freakouts and long chains of expletives...I wonder what the record is for most curse words used in a sentence...

Rory: Consult the Osbournes.

Lorelai: (_looking at her watch_) Ugh...2 hours 55 minutes and 23 seconds 'til _go time_...Rory....Advice... Now.

Rory: (_sighing_) Well, what kind of look are you going for?

Lorelai: Hmm...I dunno...I think the Come-hither-I'm-too-sexy-for-my-Manolo Blahniks" look is a little _too_ formal, don't you?

Rory: (_confused_) Did you just say "come hither"?

Lorelai: (_sighing_) Rory, stay with me here...

Rory: Okay, okay...

Lorelai: And I think the "Hippie-love-child-just-rolled-outta-bed-forgot-to-shave-my-legs" look is a little _too_ casual...

Rory: And _frightening_, if you're wearing a skirt...

Lorelai: (_nodding_) Right...So, what should I do?

Rory: Mom...This is _Luke_....He's seen you in your pajamas, pre-coffee, pre-shower, and did NOT run away screaming in the opposite direction...I think it's safe to say that you could show up in a garbage bag, and he'd be okay with it...well...as long as you take the trash out of it first...

Lorelai: Hmm...Garbage bag...Nah, that's more a third date kinda outfit...So, what should I wear _tonight_?

Rory: Okay...Um....I got it....Survey says...

GILMORE HOUSE--LIVING ROOM--THAT EVENING

_Lorelai sits on the couch with her arms crossed, looking around the room. She looks at her watch and rolls her eyes._

Lorelai: (_mumbling to herself_) Luke...Where are you?....Ugh...I'm ready _on time_; He's late....(_getting up and pacing the living room_)....He's _never_ late....for _anything_....In fact, he's _obnoxiously _punctual....(_standing next to the desk)_....Should I call him?....No...no....He's probably on his way....He'll probably knock on the door in like _five_ seconds....Okay...1...2...3...4...5.....Hmmm....Maybe I should call?.....But, then...What if he answers, and he's ready to walk out the door?....and I'll feel all stupid for calling...and he'll think I'm one of those women who checks up on her guy all the time....and I'm _so_ not one of those women...He's late...._late _for the date _he_ asked me out on...He's never late...Oh God...What if something happened?....No...No...Everything's fine....This is crazy...and you know what else is crazy?....Standing here...waiting...and talking to myself....(_grabs her jacket and purse_)...Luke, ready or not, I'm comin' to get ya....

_Lorelai walks out the front door, shuts it, and then turns around only to be surprised by a very well-dressed Luke, standing on her front lawn._

Lorelai: (_surprised_) What....You're here...

Luke: (_smiling_) Yep.

Lorelai: (_walking down the proch steps_) I was...I...was just about to come see what was taking you so long.

Luke: Oh?

Lorelai: (_standing within arm's length of him_) Yeah...I mean...You are kinda late....

Luke: (_looking at his watch_) Actually, according to "Lorelai Gilmore" time, I'm still early...and if _I'm _early....then _you_ are _really_ early....

Lorelai: (_embarrassed_) Well...I...Rory must have set the clock wrong again....Huh....yeah...cuz...see, I thought it was actually 7:45....and...Oh look...(_looking at her watch_)....it's only 7:15....My mistake....

Luke: (_smiling_) It's okay...You look great...

Lorelai: (_blushing a little_) Uh...thanks...You don't look so bad yourself...(_gesturing towards the truck_)....So...You ready?....

Luke: (_opening up the passenger door_) Yep...Let's go...

_Lorelai gets in the truck, and then Luke shuts the door and walks around to the driver's side_.

INTERIOR OF LUKE'S TRUCK

_Luke and Lorelai are driving on the highway. Lorelai is looking out the window and sighing. Luke glances at her._

Luke: What?

Lorelai: (_looking at him_) Where are you taking me?...We've been driving for like a half an hour...

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Like I told you..._five minutes_ _ago_...It's a surprise....

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Well....Can't you just give me an idea...So...You know...I can be properly prepared to be surprised when the surprise takes place...

Luke: You _do_ know the definition of "surprise,"....right?

Lorelai: No...Merriam Webster..._Do_ enlighten me with your detailed knowledge...I'm expecting a phonetic spelling....multiple definitions....and parts of speech....Oooo ooo...and an etymology....

Luke: (_smiling_) Alright...alright...if you stop, I'll give you a hint.

Lorelai: (_excited and bouncing up and down_) Yes....Tell me...tell me...

Luke: (_with his eye brow raised_) This place....It used to be...a...place where men went to pay for...you know...

Lorelai: (_confused_) For what?

Luke: You know...

Lorelai: (_still confused_) What?....Beer?....Cigarettes?....An autographed copy of Liberace's memoirs?

Luke: (_whispering_) It was a...uh...a whorehouse...

_Lorelai looks at him, gasping, as a smile spreads across her face_.

Luke: Dirty?

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Extremely!...I gotta say Luke....I'm impressed.

Luke: (_smiling_) Well...I aim to please.

_Lorelai and Luke look at each other and smile_.

LOBBY OF "MADAME CHERRY'S JUBILEE" (NOW A RESTAURANT)

_Luke and Lorelai walk in, and Lorelai scans the room_.

Lorelai: (_in awe_) Wow....Look at all the pictures...and the curtains...Oh my gosh...and the furniture....Oh, Luke...This is totally my Graceland...

_Luke looks at her, smiles, and starts to respond_, _when a woman yells from off screen. An older woman with a colorful dress appears._

Mazie: (_running over and hugging Luke_) Lucas!....You're here...This is wonderful....Buddy!...Buddy!....Lucas is here!....(_pulling back_)....Where've you been?...It's been ages since the last time you visited.

Luke: (_looking down_) I know....I'm sorry....It's been awhile....Um...Mazie...This is Lorelai...

_Lorelai holds out her hand._

Mazie: (_waving her off_) Oh....No, you don't....Any friend of Lucas's, is a friend of mine....and a friend of mine, gets a hug....

_Mazie grabs Lorelai and gives her a great big hug._ _Mazie pulls back and smiles._

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Well....It's nice to meet you...

Mazie: You too, honey. Come on, you two....Let's go find Buddy and get ya the best table in the house.

_Mazie, Lorelai, and Luke walk into the dining room_.

Lorelai: (_looking around_) This place is really great.

Mazie: Yeah...It pays the rent....(_stopping in front of a table_) Here ya go....The best table we got...Have a seat...

Luke: (_sitting down_) Thanks, Mazie....So, where's Buddy?

Mazie: Ah...He's around here somewhere...(_calling out_) Buddy!....Buddy!...

_Suddenly, an older man with a beard appears, with a bottle of champage and two glasses._

Buddy: (_rolling his eyes_) I heard ya the first time, woman...Lucas is here...I know...I had to grab the champagne....

Lorelai: (_already seated, looking at Buddy_) Champagne?

Buddy: (_smiling_) Of course...It's time to celebrate...Our boy Lucas is here....after 4 months of being MIA...and...He's brought a young lady....

Mazie: (_smiling, patting Luke on the shoulder_) Yes...Lucas _never_ brings his girls here...This is a special occasion...This calls for champagne...

Luke: Uh...I'll have a beer, if that's okay...

Mazie: (_rolling her eyes, talking to Lorelai_) He'll have a beer....How classy...He's not doing a very good job of channeling James Bond.

Lorelai: (_laughs_) Double O Luke.

Mazie: (_smiling_) You got it.

Buddy: So...Is someone gonna introduce me to this lovely lady, or should I guess her name?

Luke: (_smiling_) Buddy...This is Lorelai.

Buddy: (_shaking Lorelai's hand_, _smiling_) Beautiful name for a beautiful girl...It's my pleasure....So, tell me you're gonna have some of this great champagne even if Lucas isn't?...

Lorelai: (_smiling_) I'd love some.

_Buddy pours the champagne_.

Mazie: Well...You two brace yourselves...We're gonna cook you up somethin real special...I hope you brought your appetites....Lorelai, you're not one of those girls who eats rabbit food and then uses a Stairmaster for three hours?

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Don't worry about her...She can eat more than the three of us put together.

Lorelai: (_nodding_) It's true...You know that Japanese guy who eats all the hot dogs...I frighten even him with my mandibular mania.

Buddy: (_laughs_) My kind of woman....Good appetite...sense of humor...and a looker....Great job, Lucas...

Luke: (_holding up his hands_) Hey...I had nothin to do with it.

Mazie: (_grabbing Buddy by the arm_) Come on, Hun...Let's leave these two lovebirds alone...

_Mazie and Buddy leave. There's a moment of silence before Lorelai looks at Luke and speaks._

Lorelai: So...They know you, huh?

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Yes...They know me....

Lorelai: (_smiling_) They're sweet...and they called you Lucas.

Luke: (_sighing_) I know...unfortunately....Besides my parents and Mia....They're the only ones who have ever been allowed to...So, don't start...

Lorelai: (_putting her hand on top of his_) Come on....Let me call you that....

Luke: (_shaking his head_) Nope...I hate that name...

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Well, I like it...It's nice...

Luke: (_smiling_) Yeah?

Lorelai: (_nodding and smiling_) Yeah.

Luke: (_still smiling_) Okay...We'll see...Maybe for you...

_Lorelai smiles at him, lets out a little laugh, and then looks down._

MADAME CHERRY'S JUBILEE--LATER THAT EVENING

_Lorelai takes one last bite of pie and puts the fork down._

Lorelai: (_sighing_) Besides yours of course...._That _was the best blueberry pie I've ever had...

Luke: (_smiling_) Yeah...the food here is great...Mazie taught me to cook, you know...

Lorelai: (_surprised_) Really?

Luke: (_looking down_) She and Buddy lived two houses down from ours when I was a kid....They were friends with my parents...When my Mom got sick...Mazie used to come over and cook us dinner...After my Mom passed away...my Dad wasn't real good in the kitchen...So...Mazie still stopped by every other day...made sure we had a home cooked meal at least a few nights a week...Then...her and Buddy bought this place...decided to renovate it...turn it into a restaurant....They sold their house in Stars Hollow and got a place here....Before they moved, Mazie wanted to make sure that the three of us were always well fed....so she taught me as much about cooking as she could...and then left alot of her recipes...and some books, so that I could figure out the rest on my own...I've tried to keep in touch with them over the years...visit as often as I can...They don't have any kids of their own...and they were always so good to us....So...

Lorelai: (_smiling_) They mean a lot to you, don't they?

Luke: Yeah...They're really good people.

Lorelai: And...you brought me here....To meet them...You never brought anyone else here before?

Luke: (_looking down_) No...I...I just wanted you to know them. (_Luke looks at her.)_ Look, you know me pretty well...probably better than almost anyone...and you're a part of my life now...Well, you've always been a part of my life, but now you're a bigger part...and I know that with Nicole, I did everything half-assed..._You_ know it, _I_ know it...I didn't put alotta effort into our marriage...and I guess that's one of the reasons that it didn't work...I mean...it didn't help that she was bedding the SockMan...but our break-up wasn't entirely her fault either...But, that's over now...I'm with you...and I plan to do things right this time...So, I just want you to know that this thing we're doing here...I'm in....I am _all_ in....

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Good to know...and I'm glad.

Luke: (_smiling_) Good.

_Mazie appears in front of the table._

Mazie: (_smiling_) So...How was everything?

Lorelai: Delicious...I can see where Luke got his great culinary abilities.

Luke: (_smiling_) Yeah...You guys outdid yourselves....Hey...Can we have the check?

Mazie: (_waving him off_) Nope...Food's on the house...

Luke: No...Let me pay...

Mazie: No, Honey...Keep your money...Buy this girl somethin pretty...

Luke: (_smiling_) Alright, if you're sure...but pomise that I can take you and Buddy out soon for dinner...

Mazie: (_putting her hand on Lorelai's shoulder and looking at Luke_) Ah...Sweetie...Hold on to this one....He's somethin special....

Lorelai: (_smiling, looking at Luke)_ That's the word on the street.

OUTSIDE OF MADAME CHERRY'S JUBILEE

_Lorelai and Luke leave the restaurant, and as they step outside, they notice that it is beginning to rain._

Lorelai: (_stepping back under the restaurant awning_) Aw...I guess we're gonna have to make a run for your truck....

Luke: (_shaking his head_) No...You stay here...I'll go get it...Be back in 2 minutes...

Lorelai: You're gonna get soaked!

Luke: (_smiling_) Yeah...But _you_ won't......I'll be right back...

_Luke leaves Lorelai standing there. She watches him go, and an indescribable expression falls upon her face. One could venture to call it a mixture of realization and contentment._

LUKE'S APARTMENT--LUKE'S BED--LATER THAT NIGHT

_Luke is lying sans shirt--FINALLY--under the covers, with Lorelai resting her head on his chest. She starts to smile and then laugh._

Luke: (_curiously_) What?

Lorelai: (_looking up at him_) I can't believe you actually thought that I wanted to come here.....for _coffee_.

Luke: Hey...You only drink a gallon of the stuff a day...and _I_ should know...I'm your main supplier.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) But Luke...

Luke: Not that I'm complaining--But _this_ being our first _real_ date, I didn't exactly expect the night to end this way.

Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Oh please....Not _one_ time tonight, did the thought cross your mind that _this_ could happen?

Luke: (_lying_) No.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Luke...

Luke: (_smiling_) Okay...Maybe once...But the odds weren't exactly in my favor.

Lorelai: Sure they were...I always put out on the first date.

Luke: (_sighing_) And here I thought I was special.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Technically you are...I _usually_ make a guy pay for dinner _and_ a movie before he gets me into bed..._You _just had to feed me.

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Well...Eating _is _your favorite pasttime.

Lorelai: (_leaning up and kissing him_) Um...second favorite...Now...

Luke: (_smiling and pulling her closer to him_) Ah, I see.

Lorelai: (_looking him in the eyes_) Seriously, I want you to know that I don't _normally_ do this.

Luke: Do what?

Lorelai: Jump into bed with a guy, at the drop of a hat.

Luke: (_nodding_) Oh...so just with me...and hey, I wasn't even wearing my hat when _this_ happened.

Lorelai: Paging Robert Stack in the Great Beyond....Yes!...The mystery has _finally_ been solved.

Luke: (_curiously_) What mystery?

Lorelai: Hmmm....There's been much debate as to whether or not "the hat" is worn when Luke Danes does the Horizontal Mambo.

Luke: (_in disbelief_) You gotta be kidding me?

Lorelai: Nope.

Luke: You're serious?

Lorelai: (_holding up her hand_) Swear on Taylor's Toupee.

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) You people have too much time on your hands.

Lorelai: (_lying her head back down on his chest_) Looks like it's my duty to report this important finding at the next town meeting.

Luke: Not if you ever wanna Mambo again...

Lorelai: (_looking up at him_) Ugh...Fine...You win....Happy?

Luke: (_pausing a second, then smiling_) Very.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Ah, I see.

Luke: So, I guess _this_ officially makes me your boyfriend.

Lorelai: (_with that pondering look_) Or Stars Hollow's first male prostitute.

Luke: (_sighing_) Uh..."boyfriend's" good for me.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) I dunno...With a town full of willing cutomers like Miss Patty and Babette...You're sure to earn a pretty penny.

Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) I'll stick with my day job.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah...You're good at _that_ too.

Luke: Well...I'm a man of many talents.

Lorelai: (_giggling_) No arguments here.

Luke: (_kissing her and then pulling back_) We should get some sleep.

Lorelai: (_raising her eye brows_) Oh...So you want me to spend the night?

Luke: (_sarcastically_) No....Go fnd your clothes and get the hell outta here..._Lorelai_...Of course, I _want_ you to spend the night.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) Good...Cuz I'm lovin' this bed...It's comfy...When did you get it?

Luke: Uh...I dunno...Awhile ago...So, you like it?

Lorelai: (_nodding_) Uh huh...It's a...very...spacious.

Luke: Yeah.

Lorelai: I mean it...We could fit like two Sumo wrestlers on here with us....

Luke: (_brow furrowed_) Why would we do that?

Lorelai: I dunno...If we got really bored...or lost a very weird bet....although, I don't understand _why_ we would agree to terms like _that_ before we _made_ a bet...but who knows?

Luke: (_sighing_) You're babbling.

Lorelai: (_smiling_) So shut me up.

Luke: (_smiling_) Gladly.

_Luke kisses her. After the kiss, Lorelai pulls back, smiles, and lays her head on his chest again._

Lorelai: (_quietly_) Luke?

Luke: Yeah?

Lorelai: (_smiling_) I like this.

Luke: (_smiling_) Yeah, me too.

_Luke leans over to turn the lamp off. The two lie there in silence for a second._

Lorelai: (_quietly_) Luke?

Luke: Yeah?

Lorelai: (_giggling_) Love the tattoo.

Luke: (_laughing_) Thanks.

The End.


End file.
